But she also has these moments where I know she remembers her past and wonders what happened and I think she is sad or missing Ethiopia. Looks something like this.
There is no doubt about it. My daughter is happy. So is my son. They are growing and thriving and loving. They laugh all day long. Well mostly. Throw in a few tantrums and that's our day. They make us laugh. It is a joyful home.
But they also have suffered a loss that most of us haven't. I will never forget my son's stunned little face of horror as we got into the van and left the orphanage. Or my daughter clenching tightly to my husband as they entered our guest house room. So I can never say that with adoption there is only joy. I think I use to think this before I adopted my children. I read a lot of blogs that never mentioned pain and loss. Only joy and happiness. It just isn't so even if you have a magic wand and wish it to be true. I understand this. Even though I wish with all my heart I could have that damn magic wand and wish away the pain and loss for them.
And to end on the joy. Here she is again lost in thought but with such happiness in her smile. Not a clue what my boy is thinking :)
Focusing on the joy, but never forgetting that within our family there has been loss, we move forward, thankful for each other. One step at a time.
5 comments:
so true and so sweet:-)
I have tears now. And Chally gets that same exact look sometimes.
Beautiful, Lisa....and, so, so true.
I'm glad you talked about loss. I KNOW our daughter loved Miskaye and her nannies, and suffered greatly leaving them behind. This even though she has always been happy with us. Adoption by definition is loss first, often loss again, then gain. We can never forget that, for our children's sake.
This is a beautiful post. And that look? I've seen it, too, when talking about Ethiopia, the orphanage, how she didn't grow in my tummy, how she wants to be light-skinned, like Mama.) Yup, it's painful. And thanks for your comments on my blog. I appreciate it. We did look at Sacramento but are concerned about the state of the California schools...maybe we should talk via email. We've been looking out of state seriously, too. Sounds like we could share some ideas. Take care!
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