It was an absolutely beautiful day today. The weather report stated 64 as the high but it felt more like 75 degrees. A perfect day to start again.
Today was the best day I have had in about 3 months with the kids. The last many months have been quite difficult for a number of reasons. I won't go into too much detail but I will go into some. It has a little something to do with a completely defiant, control seeing, angel face boy. Three is a difficult age. I hear it all the time. Blah blah blah. I don't want to hear it from any of you parents raising biological children who were properly nurtured from birth. Yeah it's a hard age, but its an almost unbearable age with a child who has had a tough start in life. Abraham came from a hard place. He was neglected for the first 8 months of his life. In my research I learned this actually causes brain damage. I believe it. So he is working every day to try and figure it all out. Parenting him is very difficult(for me anyways). But there was so much joy today that I can only hope as the seasons change(in a couple months) there will be more sunshine than rain in this house.
So as I said, I spent the entire day with the kids(and Milo) at the park. We had a picnic and went for a little hike. I was calm. They were good. I was calm. They did annoying things at times like kids do. Like blow into the juice boxes so it overflows and makes a mess all over the picnic blanket. But I was calm. This seems to always be the key in having a good day with them. I'm not sure why I haven't caught on and followed the rule to "be calm" every moment of every day. Abraham does better with calm. I need to let more things go. I need to encourage him more. Love him more. Tell him how perfect he is more. Because I don't believe he thinks he is :(
But damn it's so hard to tell a kid how wonderful he is when he is shouting, spitting, hitting, or kicking you. But then as I tuck him in at night and he cuddles close to my heart I know he just wants what we all want. To be important and loved.
2 comments:
Ah, sweet Abraham IS important and loved and just because you aren't able to convey that to his naughty little self 24/7 doesn't mean he doesn't know that. He knows it because you show it to him. Not letting him walk all over you is an expression of love too - setting those boundaries is just as important as your cuddle time. Or, so I think....I guess I shouldn't really opine until my kiddo can talk back and spit at me! But I think you're doing great and he is a fabulous, fun little boy. When he is excited about something, I don't think I have seen a little kid with more joy in his heart. It's contagious.
First, envious of your weather. Second, what a fun looking picnic - straw blowing bubbles and all. (I am daily/hourly challenged to remain calm.) And lastly...I am seeing more and more how the first months of my little one's life has affected her. What a good thing that you acknowledge this in Abraham. Hang in there - "just keep swimming." Thanks for your encouragement...sending some right back your way.
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